Supporting Your Student on a Tough Night

1. STRUGGLES

   1. Common unexpected behaviors

      1. Work Refusal

      2. Wandering away from tutor/s

      3. Shut down/not talking/emotional

      4. Physical and/or verbal aggression toward others

   2. Escalating tiers of behavior

      1. Do you know what signals that your student is escalating?

      2. Behaviors may build and intensify with time and frequency
         

2. CONTRIBUTORS to UNEXPECTED BEHAVIORS

   1. Non-preferred tasks

   2. Frustration

   3. Lack of choices/control

   4. Unclear expectations

   5. Embarrassment

   6. Academic challenges

   7. Physical factors and outside concerns

      1. Hunger, lack of sleep, concerns at home

      2. What happened before or is anticipated after tutoring
         

3. PERSPECTIVE and EXPERIENCE

   1. TRIGGERS paired with perspective and experience can significantly impact the outcome of a situation

   2. Personal tolerances vary (personal space, volume, patience, etc.)

   3. Your student’s behavior is RARELY a reflection of you or their feelings about you

   4. Refrain from emotional responses- NEVER GET PHYSICAL

      1. Our policies strictly prohibit this

      2. It breaks trust immediately

      3. PP needs to be a SAFE place for our students

   5. Don’t take comments and behaviors personally

   6. Avoid threats and pleading
      

4. NEED HELP? We are here!

   1. Don’t wait- ask PP staff for help- Bring us in before you’re at your max

   2. Use the shared staff line 484-378-0746

      1. TEXT US for discreet support

      2. CALL US in an emergency
         

5. TURN THE TIDE

   1. Power struggles: waste time, disrupt learning, add stress, and undermine relationships

   2. What can you do instead? Consider the long-term message vs. a momentary win

      1. Pray with/over your student

      2. Assume a non-threatening position/tone/body language

      3. Share your experiences: Be realistic, be authentic, be vulnerable

      4. Pivot- it is okay to change your plan and do things differently

      5. ALWAYS GIVE THE STUDENT AN OUT. (What could that look like? Distraction, choice, “stick a pin in it,” etc.).

         1. Be aware of their needs/beliefs in this moment

         2. Can you help them save face around peers?

      6. Remind your student you are on their side/team. Don’t assume they already know or believe this.

         1. I want to help you

         2. Tell me what you need

      7. RESET- Approach the situation in humility and apologize for frustrating/hurting/upsetting your student.

         1. This is an unexpected approach

         2. This often disarms the student and opens dialog

         3. Listen, don’t push or criticize

6. YOU ARE EQUIPPED!

1. Adults have more experience, more coping skills, and fire tested strategies when it comes to working through approaching struggles

   1. Keep in mind what seems logical to you may feel foreign to your student

   2. Your student may be shocked that your idea/recommendation could work, because without prior experience our brains don’t recognize the reward opportunity.

2. God has allowed you to have this very moment with this student for a reason. Pray for God to prepare your heart and equip you in those difficult moments.

3. Start fresh each week. Extend grace and understanding to your student.

4. Speak life into the student you work with, especially on the most difficult nights! This is a gift of grace Satan does not want our students to receive.